Monthly Archives: January 2006

Jagermeister – it’s not just for breakfast anymore!

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People often ask me, “What’s with the Jager obsession?” Here is a heart-felt poem I wrote to this delicious beverage: There is this purple drink It makes my liver rot It often makes me puke But it is my favorite … Continue reading

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I Just Smoked a Joint with Billy Gibbons

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Tonight, I went out with this chick to get some Mexican at Compares in Hollywood — make a long story short…I wound up smoking a joint with Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top and a friend of his. Billy is a … Continue reading

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Booty Call Contract

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The Pre-Booty Call Agreement This pre-booty call Agreement (hereinafter referred to as “The Agreement”) is entered into on this ___day of ______________, 20 __, by ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the “Participant”) between ____________________, (hereinafter referred to as the “Holder … Continue reading

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Nashville Pussy and Slayer

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So last night I was on the phone with Ruyder from Nashville Pussy (a very good friend of mine)…she tells me that they have #3 for pussy on Google and want to make a little money off it. So I … Continue reading

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AVN 5: The Final Hangover

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So we wake up around 5 in the afternoon in a pool of my own blood. Apparently, during the “night” my liver had made a prison break. I only know this because I there was this note next to my … Continue reading

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OCCash publicly threatened by Charlo Barbosa of Megapornbucks

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I cought this on my blog: Hey you piece of shit. You fucking drank OUR Crystal at OUR table. You didn’t pay for shit. Danny Yomtobian paid for the bill. I brought you in, you take off and come back … Continue reading

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AVN Day 4: The Best Anal, Garbage Can Dinners, and More Weird Scenes From The Goldmine

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OK, so I wake up the next morning trying to continue the “romance” from the night before in the sink of our bathroom. Again, I am triumphant. It was Saturday, and after three days of being at the AVN – … Continue reading

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AVN Part 3: The Player Haters Ball

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After waking up around 4PM feeling like refried death from my previous night’s diabolical transformation into my alter-ego: Dr. Stretchnuts (thankfully, we have no photographic proof) – it was almost time to do it again. Tonight would be a big … Continue reading

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AVN Part2: The Return of Dr. Stretchnuts

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Thursday – I wake up hungover around noon to meet with our accountants. I try to decide which state I live in so the government can best collect my tax dollars. They haven’t gotten enough this year, after all: From … Continue reading

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AVN: Brings You Three Day Hangover

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OK, rather than writing a 5000+ word blog…I’ve broken this year’s AVN into who-knows-how-many blogs…this will be the first: I really was thinking that this years going to suck 50 pound bags of dick and call it a light lunch. … Continue reading

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