AVN Part 3: The Player Haters Ball

After waking up around 4PM feeling like refried death from my previous night’s diabolical transformation into my alter-ego: Dr. Stretchnuts (thankfully, we have no photographic proof) – it was almost time to do it again. Tonight would be a big night. It was the Player’s Ball and one of my all time favorite acts would be playing: Mr. George Clinton (whom I once ran into outside my apartment trying to buy crack – we’ll save that story for later).

Once again, we had an all star cast it would be me, TTBoy, Q’on, Ryan (Naughty Empire), Chris, some of the girls from Phat Booty Hoes, and Candice (whom has an onion booty that will make you cry, and I openly admit I have a crush on). Rather than regale you with stories of the glory of the players ball, let me just lay down some pictures of just how fly we looked:

After a while of being at The Player Ball we had to leave because these to dufus muther fuckers that had bought Candice a drink wouldn’t leave her alone. It was back to the glory of the Spearmint Rhino. But, we had forgotten that it would be Friday night and the usually awesome club was packed with AFCs, the hoy paloy, and a bunch of other miscellaneous losers – it was too packed to have fun, so we left.

I don’t remember much after that, but it lead to another OCCash sleepover at the best kept secret in Vegas: The Orleans. There were three of us crashing in one room…somehow, somewhere along the line — I had picked up some random white girl and wound up trying to have some Cancun-style-spring-break-sex-with-all-of-you-friends-in-the-room – which I did effectively before nodding out.

OK, that concludes day three. And if you think the last three days have been retarded – you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Tomorrow would be the AVN awards.

To be cunt-in-u-ed!