Thursday – Get in at noon. Jetlag sets in. Go for a “nap” and wake up at 9PM – it did exactly what I didn’t want to do…major schedule-flippage! Shower, go out for some sushi, sneak our way into one of the best clubs in England, get a VIP table, and get completely pissed (for the gringos in means drunk).
Friday – Wake up after only two hours of sleep still drunk. I got an email back from this girl I had met kind of randomly tripping my ass off on some shrooms in Amsterdam. She phoned me up (“called”) and asked if I wanted to go to Camden with her. To be honest, I couldn’t even precisely remember what she looked like, but when she walked up in Lester Square, I don’t see how I could have forgot! She was FIT (English slang “hot”). We take the tube (subway) to the park, have a swim (bikini confirms…yes, very fit – 9.5 to 10), and then sit out in the park and smoke some weed in a field with UK supermodels that made it back. Cabs are tough to find so we walk about 5 miles pramming (even the English don’t know that phrase) and chatting. Go up to a bar and have some drinks where some dodgey (sketchy) waitress tries to take us for a few pounds for our drinks. We meet her friend Patience (yeah, that’s her real name) and go to an excellent restaurant for dinner and 2 awesome bottles of wine. By this time we are getting pretty hammered, so we go out and get some bugger sugar (cocaine) which is pretty bad but keeps us up till we rejoin my friend at a club and I blackout.
Saturday – Meet up for the AOE Webmaster show yeah, I know it’s stupid to go all the way to England for less than 12 hours of business, but alls fair in fun and tax write-offs! We meet up with the girl from the day before (ok, I’ve got a little crush by now), eat some Ostrich burgers, and start on the pub crawl. . It is clear that my partner is dragging from the night before. Right about the time he bails and skives off (blows off) on the rest of the day about 6 or 7 English pornstars and a few Playboy Bunnys show up to liven things. We go on drinking, seeing the sights, riding the eye, cruising the Thames till midnight. Me and a guy from Playboy wind up at a hotel with a dozen randy bachlorettes (not being familiar with English law – I strike a few details here) and find my way back to my hotel at 5AM — everyone is still on the streets partying and having a great time.
I love England.
Sunday – Sleep till 8PM. Have plans to meet the bird (chick) and her sister from the days previous for dinner. It seems to me that there is some level of attraction going on here, but I can’t figure why nothing has happened yet. We meet at this hippy bar where some lady is reciting some “worm” monologue she’s probably been doing for the past 3 decades. We start drinking, go out to eat, all slip a few tabs of E, and go to a club. After we buy another bag of shit coke from this dodgey fucker her sister tells me that she has a boyfriend and hasn’t been mentioning. For once in my life, I actually crushing pretty hard…I felt like this was girlfriend material. Some guy comes by and sells me 3 pills for 10 quid. I take all 3. Around 4 the sisters get in an argument and run out of the club….I stay completely mashed up (wasted) until we get our plane hours later. (Threat level of gums = shade bright stunning magenta)
Jay, you born alone and, believe me, you’ll die alone — which is fine by me…it’s a hell of a lot more fun, so don’t mug yourself (get down).
Besides, wasn’t it the English that said, “It’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase…”?
I can’t wait to go back!
England rules!