So, I saw Borat for the 3rd time last night and…
Add comment November 16th, 2006
I took my dad with me. I actually thought the movie was funnier on seeing it a 3rd time…you actually will start laughing at some of the best parts BEFORE they happen.
Archive for November, 2006
Webmaster Excess West: Part 2
Add comment November 14th, 2006
I learned last year Webmaster Access West can be pretty brutal when you live at Ground Zero Los Angeles. This year would be no exception. I knew things would be rough-and-tough, so just to be safe…
Tuesday (the night before the show) – Went out with the Beverly Hills Party Crew to Lex Duex. The B.H.P.C. are basically a bunch of down-ass hot, rich, always wanting to party, and love me and my buddy Anh (Wantedlist). The Saturday before we bought a ton of drugs (mushrooms, x, coke) from our buddy “One Stop”, but we didn’t try the weasel dust until that night. It wound up being speed. I hate speed, but we did it anyway. By 8AM, with the aid of a Xanax bar, I finally sleep.
Home sweet home.
Wednesday – Wake up too late to pick up my employees at the airport by the crack of noon. They cab it to my place. We go to Melrose for lunch at this Mexican place and start drinking. Go to the show hotel, keep drinking. Come back to my house pretty lit up and me and Mitch from AEBN go in my office and do one of the worst impromptu jams in history (Mitch made it suck, not me!). Then we go to the Rainbow for pizza, Jauger, and beer. I call my coke dealer, get some real coke delivered, and then it off to the races. We wind up trying to roll around Hollywood with way too many dudes in tow and wind up buying 10 bottles to get into Les Deux. Lex Duex was pretty cool….but, definently not 10 bottles worth (thanks Hundies and Spankbank). After the clubs close, the after party rages at my house to the wee hours of dawn.
Whoops, I did it again.
Thursday – Do some meetings earlier than what I would have liked and go home to try to grab a nap. This porn girl (name omitted here) calls me asking if she can come by. You can’t threaten me with a good time, so I spend most of the afternoon banging her. Wound up, she was a squinter, so she made a mess of my bed and I left a fan the mattress to try and dry it out. Then I had to left to go to the Epoch Decade Party, which was very cool and then left for the Porn Bowling Party which was only a few blocks from my house. We get pretty ripped up, almost get kicked out for doing lines off girls tits in the photo booth, rejoin the Beverly Hills Party Girls, grab a more select group of friends and the after-party rages at my house to the wee hours of dawn. That night SAK from Adult Players Club is so drunk and obnoxious to this super-hot new porn girl (again, no names here) into my bed. I “host” the remainder of the evening with everybody and then wind up in bed with unnamed person. Knowing that cocaine is “not a performance drug” and would make it like trying to stuff oyerers into a parking meter, I decide not to go in for the kill.
What does it seem like I’ve been here before?
Friday – Wake up around 2PM and the girl is still in my bed. You only have one chance to make a first impression and I was glad I didn’t try shit. We woke up and fucked so hard it was ridiculous. I’m not impressed by sex ever…if I had a nickel for every scafootz I’ve nailed I’s rival Bill Gates and I was only throwing about 70%, but this girl was a fucking animal and is going to be the next Jenna Jameson….I so wish I could name names, you will see soon enough. After that I fall back asleep till about 5:30 PM and wake up with the girl still in my bed. I wake up DJ AIRWreck (who’s still asleep on my couch) and we rush to the Beverly Center to buy pajamas and lingerie for the party and get to the hotel with only minutes to spare where we meet out newest black teen starlet Little Coco and our partner TTBoy. We go to Hefs Place which was pretty rad, 2 Short played at it, but after you’d had your day peek out at such and early hour, its hartd to be impressed by much. We go back to the hotel for some bad RO2C parties and then (imagine this?) wind up going back to my house and after several months of being off the wagon, I wind up going shiney side down! Old habits die hard…meanwhile, I didn’t feel so band because (in my observation and everyone’s there) I watched the human heavyweight cocaine-snorting champion (Janis Joplin) do more coke, faster than anyone I’ve ever seen! Someday, I hope she gets help. That’s quite a statement coming from a guy who smokes crack.
Are you sensing Deja Vu yet?
Saturday – Thinking the bloodbath is pretty much over I spend waiting most of Saturday might waiting for my custom S550 Benz to be delivered from Vegas. It finally gets there I hook up with Arria Giavi, SAK, John (owner of WEGCash) to got meet up with Jay Gardenia (Jenna’s ex), Shannon Mockear, and Steve Hursh (hows is that for some name drops?) at The Stone Rose at the Sofitel. I’ve had beefs with Jay in the past but we would up talking shit out and truth is Jay is a really nice guy and I like him a lot. He also has a watch that’s like 10 times mine and has rebounded from Jenna Nicely (can you say Travis Barker’s ex-wife…hehehe). It was cool to have that squashed. SAK leaves me with his friends and we drag three girls back to my house but I think I we scared them off somehow…which was fine with me.
Deja Vu.
Sunday – Spend the whole day watching every episode of Starwars played back to back and thanking allah that this shit wouldn’t be happening for another freaking year!
Peace out,
Jay
Another N*gg*r Rich Webmaster Blog!
2 comments November 13th, 2006
I finally went and completely sold out. Here’s my new whip…Mercedes S550, Brabus Body Kit, Asanti 22’s, Pirely tires with body lowering kit, custom interior with suede headliner, K40 radar detector, clear bra, custom lights, exhaust, chipped out computer, and custom intake.
I know: pretty nignog (it’s a joke, ok?!!), but the car is bad as hell!
It Official…I’m A Geek
Add comment November 13th, 2006
I was trying to recover from Webmaster Excess West (more on this later) tonight and I saw that Starwars Part II and III we coming on HBO. I grew up on Start Wars and I even agree with the Kevin Smith argument that they started to sell out with Revenge of the Jedi.
I saw Part one the day it came out in 1999 and thought it sucked ass, so I didn’t see the next two movies at all. I just watched them both back-to-back and I thought they were fantastic. Aside from a few lame made-for-video-game action sequences…great stories, effects (I like the old-school shit a little better), and now the brilliance of 4,5, and (arguably) 6 are even more clear.
I don’t know how I didn’t do this shit sooner!
Blackout At Borat
1 comment November 5th, 2006
Last night we possed up with 25-or-so of Hollywood’s finest to see Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Thanks for Ahn for being so efficient and Asian to make organizing such an event possible.
Here’s a quick rundown of what I can remember:
6:13 PM - Meet at Hooters on Hollywood Blvd and start drinking.
6:47 PM - Go to Hollywood Liquor and purchase multiple half-pints of Vodka.
7:46 PM - Blaze up a joint in back of hooters.
7:56 PM - Go to Mann’s Chinese Theatre. My boy Steve shows up with a fifth of vodka in an Aquafina bottle.
8:10 PM - Previews are running, Aquafina bottle is half depleted. Combine half-pints and continue drinking.
8:26 PM - All Vodka is gone.
8:30 – 10 PM-or-so: The greatest movie of all time plays. I laughed so hard I missed half the jokes and bit my lip…now, I remember very little of it because I got so hammered. Oh well, you know what that means, right?
Yep, I gotta see it again!
YES!!
10:13 PM - 4AM – Total blur. If anybody knows what I did or where I was, can you please fill me in?
Who wants to go see it again with me?
Jay