ITEM #5

March 2nd, 2007

The sad thing is this will actually make sense to a few of you.

Let’s say theoretically…

  1. Guys #1,2,3, 6,7 and 8 go visit Place #2.
  2. Guy #3 tells Guy #1 that he had been fucking Guy #1’s ex-Mrs. #0 while Guy #1 and Mrs. #0 were together.
  3. Guy #1 is devastated, but says little to Guy #2.
  4. Guy #1 was hooking up with Girl #1 in Place #1 and mis-reads Girl #1’s blog and gets upset.
  5. Guy #1 goes on a four day hooker / drug binge, films it, and posts it on the internet.
  6. Guy #1 and #2 are supposed to go to another country, but decide there will be too many people like Guy #3 there.
  7. Guy #4 tells Guy #1 and #2 that he can send them somewhere better than Place #4.
  8. Guy #1 and #2 listen to Guy #4 about Place #3.
  9. Guy #1 and #2 go to Place #3, get in trouble, and need help of Guy #4.
  10. Guy #4 disappears.
  11. Guys #1 and #2 manage to un-fuck themselves and make it to Place #4.
  12. At Place #4, Guy #1 finds out Girl #1 has seen pictures of Item #5.
  13. Guy #1 emails Guy #5 and hears from Guy #6 that Guy #7 told Girl #1 (who was with Guys #1 and #2 during Item #5) about Item #5.
  14. Guy #1 and #2 get to Place #1.
  15. Through Guy #5: Guy #6 tells Guy #1 that he’s hooked up with Girl #1 while in Place #2.
  16. Guy #1 tells Guy #5 that he is not mad at Guy #7 because he is over Girl #1.
  17. Girl #2 is the girlfriend of Guy #7.
  18. Guy #7 is Girl #1’s ex.
  19. As Retaliation: Guy #1 finds Girl #2’s Myspace profile.
  20. Guy #1 tells Girl #2 about Guy #7’s whereabouts in Item #5.
  21. Guy #7 Myspaces Guy #1 as Girl #2 and tells Guy #1 that He managed the Myspace Page for Girl #2 and They both were laughing at my email.
  22. Guy #1 thinks there was no harm done in Item #20 because Girl #2 was actually Guy #7.
  23. After weeks of no communication Girl #1 texts Guy #1 saying that Guy #7 really pissed off.
  24. Guy #1 starts getting death threats from the Armenian Mob.
  25. Guy #8 is guy #1, #2’s, and #7’s attorney.
  26. Guy #8 contacts Guy #2 and tells Him Guy #1 got him in trouble his Guy #8’s girlfriend who is tight with Girl #2.
  27. Guy #2 contacts Guy #1 to find out what Guy #7 and Guy #8 are pissed off.
  28. Guy #1 tells Guy #2 that Guy #5 and #6 said it was Guy #7 that spilled the beans to Girl #1 about Item #5.
  29. It was really was Guy #6 who just started hooking up with Girl #1.
  30. Guy #2 tells Guy #1 that Guy #6 had a long history of Item #29.
  31. Guy #1 apologizes to Guys #6 and #7 profusely.
  32. As I write this stupid blog: Girl #1 and Guys #5 and #6 are having drinks.

Moral of the story:

If you are Guy #1 with Girl #1: Don’t mess with Item #5.

Entry Filed under: Drama

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