Well, that’s not totally true…I still will drink (socially) and smoke weed. The ecstasy, coke, or anything harder is done.
I’m not quitting because I think I have a problem. In fact, it’s just the opposite; I am phasing it out because it was such a small part of my life to start with. If I quit, I will barely notice.
Even though I have portrayed the image as being a massive partier in the past: it was 70% board image / 30% truth.
Fact is: I do fewer drugs than many of the people in this industry that cast stones at me for. Being sober will give me some higher moral ground for a change.
It all started out as a joke. My boy D-Money was on the phone:
“We’re on a mission from God (Gad), we’re gonna put the band back together…”
This classic Blues Brothers reference could only be alluding to one thing: Dick Delicious getting back together in Vegas for Rock The Ball (a spin-off of the epic The Players Ball parties). Several major label bands were being kicked around as headliners (including Anthrax), but Metal Skool got the gig and they would be a perfect match for us.
We’d march out of obscurity into some pretty rockstar shit.
Of course, there were some obstacles to overcome. I hadn’t spoken to my songwriting partner / bassist (Hugh G. Rection) in several years, we’d left a trail of 11 dead drummers in our decade-plus rampage, and we hadn’t played together in over 5 years.
Phone calls were made. It seemed like time to put the band back together. We picked drummer, Stu Pidasso, to complete the lineup. I was off on a plane to Atlanta for rehearsal in less than a week.
BTW: Atlanta sucks 25 pound bags of dick and calls it a light lunch! That place is even worse than I remember!
I digress.
We practiced Thursday through Sunday between sorties to the Pink Pony, copious quantities of Jaugermiester, beer, blow, and Budwiser (evil trifurcate of the letter “b”?). After multiple horrific incidents with Delta Airlines, I finally made it back into LA at 2AM on Monday night, only to pack my shit up the next day and drive out to Vegas.
The band arrived on Wednesday and the usual trappings of Los Vegas turned that day into a Shit-Show that stretched well into dawn.
The next day we were hanging out at The Hardrock pool unsuccessfully trying not to drink ourselves into oblivion before the show. We ran into Weeman from Jackass; who was hanging out with this tough looking NYC biker guy. While Weeman hitting on our bass player’s wife, we made idle chit-chat with his buddy. Wound up this biker guy was Dan The Parody Song Man from Howard Stern way back in the day. He was the guy that originally got us on the Stern Show way back in the day! We hooked him up some CDs, showed him what the really funny songs were, he said he’d listen and give the best shit to Howard! Even before we’ve even played we have a pretty strong shot a more airplay on Stern!
How crazy is that?
We take Rock Star limos to the show, get a quick sound check, and proceed getting liquored-up-proper-style to get in character. We hired 2 hookers to work as Go-Go dancers for from a buddy who is a huge SinCity pimp.
Lesson #1 from all the years of touring: when trying to get “talent” for a show; be like the airline business: overbook. I guess our buddy had realized that too and flying in the face of all odds: four show up. Rather than sending 2 of them home we just threw all of them all onstage for the show.
Go big or go home.
Rather than bore you more rambling, we’ll get straight into the video from the show:
He’s “Groupies Make the World Go ‘Round”:
And a perennial Pro-life favorite: “The $400 Shuffle”:
A few slight technical glitches and minor mistakes aside, we pretty much killed (as these clips can attest).
So what now?
A few new dates booked in August in the Southeast and there is even some talk about possibly recording a 4th DDTT CD.
Who knows, I thought we might be a little ahead of our time way back in the day. Maybe time has caught up with us.
I concocted this bit of comedy gold drunk out of my mind at 6:30 AM after an all night / day Saturday drinking binge. For some reason, when I get really, really wasted I like to stick a towel on my head. Before I turned in for the night, it seemed like a good idea to issue a Fatwa (Islamic religious decree) on something.
All of the words out of my mouth (spare a few) are complete gibberish; as I am sure it is easy to tell.
The next day when I woke feeling like a can of smashed assholes. Somehow, I was inspired turn my little Fatwa into a statement of Islamic rage about the SUPER-LAME season finale of The Sopranos (with dubbed in Journey track).
Because, let’s face it folks, that shit was really lame.
If you go see the movie, maybe you are the one who deserves to get whacked.
