It all started out as a joke. My boy D-Money was on the phone:
“We’re on a mission from God (Gad), we’re gonna put the band back together…”
This classic Blues Brothers reference could only be alluding to one thing: Dick Delicious getting back together in Vegas for Rock The Ball (a spin-off of the epic The Players Ball parties). Several major label bands were being kicked around as headliners (including Anthrax), but Metal Skool got the gig and they would be a perfect match for us.
We’d march out of obscurity into some pretty rockstar shit.
Of course, there were some obstacles to overcome. I hadn’t spoken to my songwriting partner / bassist (Hugh G. Rection) in several years, we’d left a trail of 11 dead drummers in our decade-plus rampage, and we hadn’t played together in over 5 years.
Phone calls were made. It seemed like time to put the band back together. We picked drummer, Stu Pidasso, to complete the lineup. I was off on a plane to Atlanta for rehearsal in less than a week.
BTW: Atlanta sucks 25 pound bags of dick and calls it a light lunch! That place is even worse than I remember!
I digress.
We practiced Thursday through Sunday between sorties to the Pink Pony, copious quantities of Jaugermiester, beer, blow, and Budwiser (evil trifurcate of the letter “b”?). After multiple horrific incidents with Delta Airlines, I finally made it back into LA at 2AM on Monday night, only to pack my shit up the next day and drive out to Vegas.
The band arrived on Wednesday and the usual trappings of Los Vegas turned that day into a Shit-Show that stretched well into dawn.
The next day we were hanging out at The Hardrock pool unsuccessfully trying not to drink ourselves into oblivion before the show. We ran into Weeman from Jackass; who was hanging out with this tough looking NYC biker guy. While Weeman hitting on our bass player’s wife, we made idle chit-chat with his buddy. Wound up this biker guy was Dan The Parody Song Man from Howard Stern way back in the day. He was the guy that originally got us on the Stern Show way back in the day! We hooked him up some CDs, showed him what the really funny songs were, he said he’d listen and give the best shit to Howard! Even before we’ve even played we have a pretty strong shot a more airplay on Stern!
How crazy is that?
We take Rock Star limos to the show, get a quick sound check, and proceed getting liquored-up-proper-style to get in character. We hired 2 hookers to work as Go-Go dancers for from a buddy who is a huge SinCity pimp.
Lesson #1 from all the years of touring: when trying to get “talent” for a show; be like the airline business: overbook. I guess our buddy had realized that too and flying in the face of all odds: four show up. Rather than sending 2 of them home we just threw all of them all onstage for the show.
Go big or go home.
Rather than bore you more rambling, we’ll get straight into the video from the show:
He’s “Groupies Make the World Go ‘Round”:
And a perennial Pro-life favorite: “The $400 Shuffle”:
A few slight technical glitches and minor mistakes aside, we pretty much killed (as these clips can attest).
So what now?
A few new dates booked in August in the Southeast and there is even some talk about possibly recording a 4th DDTT CD.
Who knows, I thought we might be a little ahead of our time way back in the day. Maybe time has caught up with us.
Over the years I’ve come to hate guitars with tremelos because of the tuning problems. I just got a Jackson Soloist and I can’t stop doing 3 octive whammy bar dives with it! Fucking shit is fucking fun!
Is the whammy bar making a comeback? Should I be beefing up my 2 handed tapping skills?
This is a clip of Dick Delicious rocking our trash metal ode to abortion (“The 400$ Shuffle”) New Years Eve a couple years back. We should have probably gotten a cameraman with a little less booze in him.
Oft, much is said about the plight of the poor, but what about us poor souls that are forced to live in conditions of extreme luxury?
Last night, I was driving home from a function with the Mayor in a 120k Mercedes Brabus to my 2.2 million dollar sprawling estate in The Hollywood Hills with an exotic supermodel. It was sure to be a stunning night of coital activity. We were pulling up to my exit when…
I saw this bum panhandling. For reasons unknown, he put his down his “Homeless Please Help” sign and walked off the ramp. I saw the sign unguarded and contemplated intently: Why would GOD give me the urges if I should not give in?
It now resides in my Fine Art Gallery in the West Wing of my estate.
I got this from my old band’s myspace page today. I thought it was kind of funny and worth sharing. I vaguely remember the incident, but this is just more proof that Myspace is shrinking the world and putting people in touch with you that you thought (maybe hoped) you would never hear from again…
Drumroll…
“congrats on thge howard stern award!!! I don,t know if you remember me but you guys played at devin micheals in savannah in 1999, and you met me (melissa) , and my friend teresa we partied our asses off had some wicked sex and tripped our nuts off….. oh yeah and you guys crashed at her house for the night… i also recall you had two black eyes from falling on youre face.. well anyways just came across you by accident and thought id say hey……. and you guys rock!!!”